jordi_dancer

BEFORE






NOW

ok so i'm in no way religious but i seriously think i'm experiencing a christmas miracle. i've stopped getting hungry! like food just grosses me out and makes me feel naseous, it's so crazy but so amazing! hopefully it lasts!

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Enfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

"So here you are in your small little world
Kept up like a little precious virgin girl
To hear 'bout your grace and your silly face
Wrapped up like a knot in a ball of shoelace
And everytime I talk to you
It sounds like you're caught in a psychological flu

Don't ever let them see you cheat
Don't ever let them see you bleed
Don't ever let them shake your hand
Don't ever let them believe that scam"
-skinny by filter



"Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth

And I need you now somehow

And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones"
-from ana's song by silverchair

i'm sorry because i know that will prob make you want to puke, i know that's the effect it has on me, but hey at least i have a lot of room for improvement!
goal= lose at least 10 lbs by next weekend for halloween so i can wear something a little uh revealing and not make people wanna hide haha

i actually did a fairly good job today about keeping my calories in check!
breakfast
*1 weight watcher's smoothie (80 calories)
lunch
*grilled cheese (approx 240)
*some fat free chips (70 calories)
dinner
*nothing
so my grand total for the day is 390 which isn't so bad! luckily my parents are out of town today(saturday) to monday so no one will be around to watch what i eat aside from my boyfriend but it's easier to get around him. wish me luck! i need to lose 25 lbs to be even close to acceptable

ok so my family just became vegetarian because i wanted to and i thought it would make me lose weight but i think it's only going to make me gain! today after practice i went to sonic and i had mazarella sticks and then i came home and ate a soy burger and a breakfast bar! and for lunch i had a baked potatoe and for breakfast i had a bowl of cereal! as you can tell i'm pretty new to this controlling exactly how much you eat method because i've been teetering on the edge of bulimia for about a year now but i decided it was disgusting and far too dangerous. i need advice on self control!